Pens to Pods

I have about a million Novolog insulin pens left because I have anxiety and fill my prescriptions as soon as I can, even if I don’t necessarily need to. In sum, I actually have about 60 pens of Novolog just hanging out in my refrigerator. I also have about 30 pens of Levemir left. Except I don’t use the Levemir anymore now that I’m on the pump.

While changing the pod tonight, I decided to see how difficult it would be to extract the insulin from the pens to put into the pods. It was not difficult. At all. It was 1% difficult. It would be more difficult if you did not have hands. But everything would be more difficult. Basically you just put the syringe that comes with each pod into the waxy end of the pen, dial up the pen about 30 or 40 units, then simultaneously push down the pen plunger and pull back the plunger on the syringe. Ta-da! Insulin from pen in pod syringe. Easy peasy.

I asked my nurse educator if there was any way to get pen insulin into the pod. She said no. ??? It was so super easy that I’m still dumbfounded. I read about someone doing it on a blog, and even they made it seem more difficult than it is. This means that I don’t have to donate my Novolog pens (for which I paid a pretty). I’ll still have to sell my Levemir on the diabetes black market, though. Just kidding. Who do you think I am? I’ll donate that to my endocrinologist’s clinic so they can give it to patients who are in between insurance/paychecks or whatever. That would really be lousy to be poor have have diabetes. And it happens all the time. I also probably have 3,000 pen needles they can have. I got in the habit of re-using, okay? Don’t you scoff at me! They’ll go to people in need now. I’ll keep 200 just in case…OF THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.

I forgot to mention that that is partially the reason I always fill my prescriptions and have way more insulin that I need in stock. What am I going to do when the power goes out and the half-dead are roaming the streets? Am I supposed to venture to the ransacked Walgreens and try to locate insulin? Witch, please. I’m going to be holed up in my bedroom eating all the snacks I want, dosing like a queen. I’ll be a zombie by the time I run out of the juice.

Wait, how does being a diabetic zombie work?

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